Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hump Day HaHa: Jean Claude vs. Channing Tatum

Today, we celebrate the one, the only, the extremely Belgian action star and poon hound Jean-Claude Van Damme, or JCVD as his friends (what? We're totally besties...) tend to call him.  Known for his under-appreciated acting skills in timeless classics such as Bloodsport, Streetfighter, and the voice of Master Croc in Kung Fu Panda 2, probably the biggest thing Van Damme is known for- with the exception of his way with the ladies- is doing the splits.  He does them everywhere: in houses, on boats, at the BET Awards, you name it.  It's his Pulitzer.  Or, maybe it wins hims a Pulitzer?  I don't actually know how that works, honestly, but his splits- amazing.  So, after 30 years of splitting anywhere and everywhere, he decides to pull this:

Warning: Stunt may make you a bit misty in... areas...

Awesome sauce.  I've watched it for at least an hour, and it never gets dull.  But wait... what's this?  It appears we have a challenger?  Oh sweet sauce of Sauron and Samuel Jackson, it can't be.  While working on his new movie, 22 Jump Street (GET EXCITED, POWERS!), it's Mumbles McMillicuty himself, Channing Tatum:

Holy hell, that hair...

And so, the gauntlet has been thrown.  With years of training and preparation, not to mention countless hours of searching for the right trucks and/or food carts, its Battle of the Best.  A Flexing of the Flexibility.  An extreme Allowance of Alliteration.  It's goin' down, son.  Who ya got?  Who wins?  Who loses?  Who gets the role of Colonel William F. Guile in the new White House Down/Streetfigher crossover movie?  The choice, is yours... but probably not.

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