Hey everyone, how y'all (all three of you, I'm guessing) doing? Been a while since we've met here, on this random Blogger page and I made some snarky comment about shitty commercials or used my lack of eloquence to marvel at a soft drink featuring an American Treasure. I know, I know, I'm sure you were probably worried, calling the Internet Police to make sure one of their super sleuths headed on over to make sure I was still alive and writin', or whatever. Thanks for that, means a lot to me.
Truth is, life got kinda weird, as it tends in those random moments you never see coming. It's not all "bad" in the concept of what that word implies, it was a lot of times that just came across as... off. You know, those moments where everything feels not center of what you perceived it to be. Kind of makes you stop what you're doing and distracts from all the important crap that makes you feel alive. It happens to everyone and often, and sometimes you don't really know what to make of it all, ya know? Oh, you don't? That's cool, I guess. Enjoy your stainless steel life then, I guess...
Anyway, enough of my weird thoughts. Point is, I'm back. Or trying to be. This is fun, believe it or not, and gives me a chance to openly bitch and moan about all the pointless, arbitrary aspects of modern culture that my friends and loved ones are sick of me whining about to their faces on my dirty, whiskey-soaked soapbox. I always hope for people to read this all, too, as I don't see any fun in being offended by myself by Geico commercials that are racist against pigs or other nonsense. So to those of you who are reading any of this, I want to say thank you for stopping in and looking at my sloppy writing style and disregard for quality comedy. Means a lot to me that you came through, even for just a moment, as it means I did something that someone saw, maybe just that one time before they went back to their yoga classes or smearing Nutella on their face. Hope it has been worth your bit of time you gave it.
If this is your first time here, then welcome to The Suave Idiot. Feel free to let me know how much it sucks. This is the Internet, after all. And now, for something much funnier than I: