Not what I meant, but I'm okay with it.
Ah, Halloween time. Scary shit and that one day of the year that you can be someone else and everyone won't find you completely crazy. Gotta love it, with all the ghouls and zombies and lovely lady costumes, not to mention all the candy and partying and lovely lady costumes. And don't forget the lovely lady costumes- those are great, too.
Sometimes, though, I feel like the modern world forgets about one of the classic aspects of the creepiest holiday (next to Arbor Day): scary or creepy ass horror stories. Some have blood and paranormal activity, hoping to make you go full evactuation in your Underoos at the mention machete-on-rib-cage action. Others, however, use subtle, skillful word usage and detailed, disturbing imagery to cause the slight chill that crawls up your spine, especially when narrated by the right voice. Enter my friend and super-talented/smart/large scary man Adam Joseph Lopez, who decided to go ahead and read the Edgar Allen Poe classic poem The Raven. It's pretty damn good, but it's even scarier when you realize he looks like this:
He's also available for birthday parties and babysitting.
Turn down the lights, turn the volume up, and let the large, scary Mexican's man voice take you over. Enjoy, and Happy Halloween, mofos.
(For some reason, I can't seem to put video directly here, so follow the link)