The Madness of March Madness

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This picture was literally titled "Young Caucasian Boy While Playing Basket Ball."  It made me giggle.

Ah, March.  What a month, eh?  It's that time of the year where the snow melts before it drops again, and everyone finds an excuse to drink until they can't feel their toes while wearing a ridiculous amount of green, plastic shamrock beads ("Today, I'm Irish!"- 90% of America).  March is also one of the biggest sports months of the year, with the NHL and the NBA lighting up the screens of rancid-smelling sports bars and baseball players warming up their arms and bats they prepare for a new season.  It's all pretty wonderful if you enjoy sweaty muscles and balls... uh, wait, that didn't come out the way I intended.

                                                                                                                              The Meta Picture

There.  Back on track.

That Time I Stopped Writing Shitty Jokes For A While

Hey everyone, how y'all (all three of you, I'm guessing) doing?  Been a while since we've met here, on this random Blogger page and I made some snarky comment about shitty commercials or used my lack of eloquence to marvel at a soft drink featuring an American Treasure.  I know, I know, I'm sure you were probably worried, calling the Internet Police to make sure one of their super sleuths headed on over to make sure I was still alive and writin', or whatever.  Thanks for that, means a lot to me.

"F*cktards:" My Favorite Movie Trailers of 2013

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Oh, uh, not what I meant, guys...

So, my sexy, slightly hair readers, it is time I confess that I have a bit of a problem, possibly a sickness: I watch too many movies.  Like, too many too many.  Yeah, that many.  It's a problem.  For some unexplained reason or another, my brain was built to desire and store as many films and references from said films as possible.  Most people strive to learn important skills or knowledge, like financial mathematics or how to con old ladies out prices rubies.  Me? I can quote 40 Year-Old Virgin from beginning to end.  I can even tell you the old Indian guy's real name.  It's sad, I know.

All that said, I actually didn't see a ton of movies this year.  Between my hernias, moving across the country, and a disturbing Faberge egg addiction, I haven't found myself staring at a giant screen while wondering if the stickiness on the floor was a homeless person's semen or a non-homeless person's semen very much.  Makes me sad, honestly.  I did, however, find some time to watch a shit ton of trailers.  Edited with quick action shots and carefully chosen music to pull you in, movie trailers are essentially commercials for their full version counterparts.  Which... well, which would explain why they are in commercials on television.  Nailed it (I'm such a good writer).  So, as the year winds down, and we say goodbye to 2013, I figured I'd share my favorites, in no particular order.  No, I don't want to rank them.  Don't tell me how to blog.

Hump Day HaHa: Suck My (Christmas) Gif(t) (More Parentheses)

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Die Hard, bitches.  It's the adult Home Alone.  Go watch that shiz.

Happy holidays, you sexy, possibly mid-day drunk readers!  I know, I know, this entry starts with a whole bunch of Christmas, including Die Hard (seriously, go watch it now), but I gotta acknowledge the multitude of celebrations and happiness going on everywhere and anywhere this time of year.  That and someone told me recently that not everyone believes in the fat, bearded guy in the red suit who flies all over the world delivering gifts while rocking a sweet keytar.  I had no clue! Did you?  Wait, why didn't you tell me?  Well, fuck you too then.

Deep Thoughts While Dying of Too Much Korean BBQ

Inspiration is such a weird thing.  It can be everywhere and nowhere all at once.  It's this thing that hits us all in our strange, random moments, and can bring some individuals to sick levels of greatness.  And sometimes, that inspiration comes in extreme ways.  

History is filled with artists, writers, and musicians with "habits" that inspired their work.  Salvador Dali had his hashish, Ben Franklin had his opium, and Orson Welles had frozen peas, I think.  These were the keys that, for these wondrous and unique individuals, opened the gates of inspiration; they allowed them to open their minds, dropping the inhibitions that shorten the gaze of inspirations, and probably gave them an excuse to wave glow sticks and bunny hop at sweet rave parties.  And now I, Andres Domenech, powerful and influential amateur internet blogger (Now with over five readers, probably!), believe that I have found the key to my wordsmithing and amazing creativity: overeating at an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ restaurant.

Hump Day HaHa: The One Where is Andres is Super Stressed LOLWTF

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Guy is fucking blown away by that pen, I'm guessing

Hey folks, how we doing?  Well that's good to hear.  I was wondering when that rash would start clearing up.  Good for you.  Anyway, here it is, another lovely Wednesday, another middle of the week where everyone is stressed and wondering what the fuck is going to happen next.  Fun, right?

This week is particularly stressful for yours truly, having to deal with some major exams and prep for the next couple of weeks.  Also, my blog has ads now.  You know you want to buy that Chromecast thing or a sexy new credit card thingy.  So fun!!! :-( Anyway, I'm taking a moment out of busy schedule to try and bring a smile to your sexy, asymmetric faces because that makes me smile.  So, if someone shit in your Cheerios this morning, I hope they ate a lot of fiber first, and I'm help to try and brighten your day.

Weird Ass Distractions: Candybox2

Happy End of the Year, you beautiful, beautiful readers!  All five of you, thanks for stopping in and make weird faces reading my bull here.  Seriously, it means a lot to me to have someone reading all of this, especially during the final days of 2013, with final exams, deadlines, and that last bit of Meth to cook (I miss you, Heisenberg), everyone has got shit to do.  This time of year is always quite stressful, rough, and drives some people to point of insanity.  And I'm definitely no different; between school and all of my naked polka dancing lessons, I definitely have things I should be doing.   Should.  Keyword there.  The problem is, I don't want.  Or rather: I don't wannnnnaaaaaaa.  You can't make me.  It's always moments like this when I like to lace up my boots, stand tall, and find anything else in the world to distract me from my responsibilities.  Because America.